Winter Rain, part 29
The air is cold, damp. Musty, too. I suppose, after all this time, I should expect that.
I flip on the light, but the fluorescent at the bottom of the stairs doesn’t seem to like the cold, either. It flickers dully, with a faint buzz, and provides almost no help against the dark. I debate my choice for a moment, but, I still don’t have any good options, and I don’t want to just sit here at the top of the stairs all night. At least down there, I can find a nice, quiet place to curl up. And nobody’s likely to come down to look for me, either.
I pull the thin cloak tighter around me and start down the stairs. Slowly. The first stair creaks loudly under my weight, and I cringe at the noise—the walls aren’t that thick, and Sheridan isn’t deaf—but it holds, and I hear nothing from the hallway. I continue down, avoiding the middle of the steps, where the creak will be worst. The noise softens.
It doesn’t always seem like it upstairs, but down here . . . this house is old. Very old. It’s there, in the stone foundations—the work of generations of this family, altering, extending, rebuilding. Sometimes, it feels like this place has been here forever. And we’ve been here, too, all along. In a way, this place is us, and we are this place.
I guess that’s what I’ve always loved about it—it’s the solidity, the permanence. The continuity. This house has a weird way of making all of my problems seem somehow temporary. As if it is quietly telling me with its very presence that everything will work out, because it always has before. And I need that continuity, that permanence. The need is so deep, so basic, so deeply ingrained within me—within all of us—that there just can’t be anything else.
But days like today . . . fuck. It seems like such a simple solution—just take Keaira and run away some place new, some place we can start again, some place we can be free, together.
But leaving this place, leaving Tara, and Conlan, and Elish and . . . and yes, even Faolan and Cormac . . . . Being alone, just the two of us, adrift in the world, with no family, with no place, with no history . . . the idea terrifies me in a way nothing else can. It feels like death.
No, it has to be this way. There’s just no other alternative.
My feet touch bare earth at last: packed sand—hard, and a bit damp. Cool to the touch, too, but right. And now I know why I came down here. It’s the dark, the coolness, the smell of damp earth and stones. A den. Away from lights, away from everything that can hurt me.
And tonight, I won’t find it anywhere else. I’ll deal with them all tomorrow. It’ll be easier, tomorrow.
I reach up and twist the flickering bulb a quarter turn out of it’s socket. It winks out and stays that way. I drop the cloak and change. Light returns with my better eyes, but now it’s comfortable, real light, not something generated from electricity.
I set out amongst the old boxes and furniture to find a place to rest.
Sorry about the extreme lateness — webfictionguide.com had some birthing pains that kind of sucked up all of my time and energy. Tomorrow’s installment will be on time. If it kills me.
Cellar dweller.
Tiergan reminds me of a vampire in this installment. Going down to his batcave . . .
Oh dear. Perhaps I will have to delete this installment.
My power is substantial, it would seem.
Well, you do have the weight of being the only commenter, thus far.
I liked this chapter, actually. I like that heavy feeling of history. Our last house was old enough to have a dirt cellar, and I’d just go down and sit for a while sometimes. I don’t have fur, though, and it gets cold. x.x
Attics have the same feeling sometimes.
One of the other projects that you might eventually see here starts in an attic. So far, a few dozen versions of that first chapter and I still haven’t captured that feeling. However, it’s been a while since I’ve tried, so maybe I should while I’m on vacation.
I think you hit the wolf thing better than the vampire thing, what with the whole den description. The vampire story is more known, so the similarities are easy to see. It is refreshing to get a new perspective, and I am totally grooving on your story, but I wonder if it makes me a furry?
Well, you are making me feel better. It’s funny, I read a few vampire stories. Well, okay, one: Winter’s Mercenary. But I don’t generally like them. I have an allergy to all that “ooo, I drink blood and wear dark colours” thing. Meh. Maybe it’s just been totally overdone, at this point. I guess what makes WM work for me is that the vampire thing isn’t heavily played. He’s just a guy with a job to do, and happens to be particularly suited for it because of something that gets mentioned in passing from time to time, but is otherwise just background.
In any event, I don’t want to be writing a vampire story. So, as long as it came across “wolf” and not “vampire”, I’m okay with it.
It’s totally wolf, not vampire, and were I a wolf in his situation I would have gone to ground as he did.
Wolf, all the way. I liked it.
teehee—”furry” has more controversy and definitions than “somewhat bisexual” so I think the first thing you’d have to do is clearly define what you mean by the term.
But the answer is most probably “yes” as I get the feeling it’s one of those things that falls on a scale from “M-I-C, K-E-Y” to “please, PLEEEEASE put on your fursuit so we can have sex again! My inner otter is rebelling at the oppression of this human body.” much like Kinsey developed his scale.
Vercin: I’m staying out of this conversation. Problem is, in a race to the bottom, I consider it a matter of pride to always win. So, to preserve some level of decorum, I’m staying out of this.
Mei Lin: Cool.
However, to facilitate you two in your race to the bottom, here’s a stock photo Sarah has tried to convince me to use for WR ads:
http://www.dreamstime.com/portrait-of-man-with-wolf-image3948337
Personally, he isn’t my idea of Tiergan, so I’ve resisted; however, you two feel free to have your fun.
come on you KNOW that picture is perfect for Tiergan.
Lol— I am not sure where the slightly bisexual comes in as I am very female. of course, you all have nothing on which to base my gender. :) The furry comment I tossed in as an aside because I have a weird sense of humor that doesn’t come off as funny to many other people. If you read MToMU— I guess it’s kind of like Marlot’s
Chris— I agree with you about WM. Both WR and WM are like ethnic dishes with spice; the background flavor base is there, but the flavor enhances the dish by being subtle.
teehee—do a quick google on the Kinsey scale. The basic premise is that almost nobody identifies as entirely heterosexual or entirely homosexual, but that they fall along a range of what they enjoy. Can you identify an attractive woman when you see her? Not just what Hollywood says is ideal, but what you like? It’s not a question of gender OR sex (yes, those can differ too) but orientation.
Rephrasing: I don’t think anyone but a few “are” or “are not” a furry. For most people, the question is “How much furry are you, and how much non-furry”. I love rl animals in the Platonic sense, not the sexual one—I can view furry porn without offense but without attraction, but if a woman wants to wear fox ears, I’m OK with that. Am I a furry? Are you? This can’t be answered without a clearly-delineated definition of “furry”
I could tell that you were joking but I responded in kind
And now I can tease you that someone who reads MToMU (and possibly ToMU) should NOT make a double error like saying you’re not bisexual because your gender is female 
I’m a basically pure heterosexual male boy. But I know a story with a bisexual male girl-elf.
=D Love, love LOVE talking to you Vercin! I am familiar with the Kinsey scale and can say that I have some definite bi-tendencies (or pan/poly, if you allow for Steff’s kind). I thought you meant bi as me being male.
BTW, I can identify both a woman who is beautiful in the sense society says and beautiful by what I say.
Furry has too broad a connotation to discuss here, but if you define a furry as wondering how hot it would be to spend the night with a guy who could change back and forth . . . then yeah, I am . . . Twould put a new spin on doggy style. OH NO YOU DI’INT
heh heh, yeah I did. XD
Looks like I’m going to have to go to up my advisory for sexual content at WFG and PU.
Strangely, WR is the straightest story I’ve ever written. Okay, that’s not saying much — I’m not what you’d call “prolific”. But Jason from Distance is gay, for instance (hasn’t really entered the story, yet, but he is — though I probably shouldn’t really talk about it as a real story while there is only one chapter and a vague plan). The narrator from Dajoën is bi, at least, but maybe a little more. To date, Tiergan’s been straight, though I have been leaving his human sexuality up in the air. They’re definitely sterile in their human form, so I have wondered if they’d view their human sexuality as entertainment, more than anything else. Don’t know if I’ll ever have cause to nail that down. We shall see, I guess.
Chris— So sorry if you are inconvenienced!! You can delete my comments if necessary!
No worries, teehee — was just making a joke.